another moral hangover. fuck.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
