I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I deserve this hangover.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
