sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
