don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
