I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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