so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
