Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
