She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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