Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize