Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
