he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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