I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
