I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
