If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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