Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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