So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
