he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
