Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
