Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
