imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
