I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
