I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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