Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
