he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
