shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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