I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
