A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
