wake up i wanna do it froggy style
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
