Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
