Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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