i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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