I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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