I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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