Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
