Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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