he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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