I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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