i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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