Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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