Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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