oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
