You're completely useless in the revolution.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
