i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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