I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
