We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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