This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
