She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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