I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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