Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
