so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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