He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
