her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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