Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize