he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Randomize