I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
