the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
