I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
