your room smells of hookers.
And success
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
as a side note pls kill me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
