I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
