It's Friday. Sex?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
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