hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
