i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
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