It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize