well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
