he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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