it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.