How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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