is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...