i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
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I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i believe in u and ur pee
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?