some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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